Laughter is the best medicine, they say. What could be better if it gets delivered in an otherwise dreary, or even dreadful looking medical report?
So here’s today’s loading dose of the laughter medicine – a small compilation of funny typos, grammatical errors and misnomers from various medical reports, some of which are real-life ones that I have witnessed in my career, and somehow landed on the internet –
1. In an ambulance log book – “…. Bleeding started in the rectal region and continued all the way to Mumbai. …”
… Well, we can’t call it a grammatical error, can we?
2. In the complaints column of a case paper – “Feeling numbness from the toes down.”
3. In an emergency room case record – “… When she fainted, her eyes rolled all over the room. …”
… This guy prefers to write things from the patient’s point of view.
4. In a liver function tests report – “… All lab tests indicate an abnormal lover function.”
… Whoa! Didn’t know they can diagnose that too, based on liver reports! Poor fellow, the patient. 😀
5. In a thank-you note from a specialist – “…. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physiotherapy. ….”
… Who am I to judge? After self-driven cars, you can never tell what features they’ll provide next! 😉
6. In a hospital discharge summary – “… On the second day, the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared. ….”
… He didn’t take the ‘pain’ of elaborating … 🙂 🙂
7. In a birth case report – “… the baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed over to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.”
… This guy says, “My report, my sentence, my clauses!”
8. In a home visit report for a newborn – “Examination reveals a full-term male lying in the bed with his family in no distress.”
(Somebody tell this guy about commas…)
9. In the diet record of an irritable bowel disease patient – “… The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. …”
10. In the general examination column of a case paper – “Skin : moist and dry.”
(This guy probably comes from a parallel universe when matter and antimatter exist simultaneously in perfect harmony.)
11. The case history of a patient involved in a plane crash – “The patient was in his usual state of health until his plane ran out of gas and crashed.”
… ohh, thanks for the valuable inputs.
(Actually, though it may seem funny, this one isn’t laughing stock, but a properly written case history – you cannot assume a patient wasn’t suffering a stroke or something when the plane crashed. Always ask. Point to note – all student readers!)
12. In a patient record – “The patient is a 79 years old widow who no longer lives with her husband.”
… ohhh, thanks for elaborating; we simply couldn’t have guessed it from the first part!
14. Case history of a road accident patient – “… The patient fell on his left arm and suffered a humorous fracture. …”
(The long bone of the arm is called ‘humerus’ in anatomy.)
15. In an injury report – “… There were no major fractures, just a minor hair cracked temporal skull plate.”
… Wow, this guy must have had hair made of steel!
So that was it, hope you all got your funny bones tickled enough for a bright day ahead. See you again,
Till then …
Stay healthy, stay happy!